Have I mentioned it's hot here? How about a few heat anecdotes?
1. The Boss (Army colonel) was driving us to the Palace for a meeting with the DCoS (Army one-star) in his SUV. There's really no reason to turn on the a/c because the "cool" air becomes hot again by the time it reaches the cabin. So, we ride with the windows down, which just keeps the car from being a greenhouse, but it doesn't make you cooler. Today was particularly windy, too (there were whitecaps on the pond). As we turned into the parking lot, the left side of the car was into the wind, so through the open window came a blast of superheated air, coupled with a heavy dose of the omnipresent dust that pervades this God-forsaken shithole. I turned to the Boss, and in fine Army fashion declared, "This does not suck enough!" Pleased with my apparent knowledge of grunt mores, he replied, "It could definitely suck more!" The meeting went off without a hitch.
2. Although it's oppressively hot now, word is that August is worse. Highs some days between 130 and 140. It dawned onto me that, after August, it will then cool down to what it's like right now. Joy.
3. Have I mentioned the "Little Brown CHU"? If not, check out this photo on my Facebook account. Aaaaand we're back. The Little Brown CHU outside our office is on the south side of the building, which means the sun cooks it...all...day...long. [Warning: If you don't want the mental image I'm about to put in your brain, stop reading now.] Normally, I'm a morning kind of guy, but when duty calls (yes, I said duty), a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do (I meant that, two..er..too!). Mind you, ass-uming the position is a bit of a production, what with having to doff the M-9 holster and uniform blouse with less room than is afforded in a phone booth. Then I sit (no typo, s-i-t). As it turns out, "a 120-degree plastic toilet seat" is a much better answer to that childhood riddle** than is the title of this post.
Have I mentioned it's hot here?
** "You know what burns my ass?"
No comments:
Post a Comment