A mercifully short story

There once was a man from Nantucket...

No, that's not right.

As I was going to St. Ives...

Nope, that's wrong, too.

Over the river and through the woods...

Damn, what's wrong with me?

Oh, yeah, now I remember:

Once upon a time, there was a handsome Prince. He, in no way, had any bearing on this story, but he was quite fond of eating flies. You might say he was the Lord of the Flies. Not that it mattered, except to say that children stranded alone on islands are generally mean to one another. Everyone knows that mean people suck. Then again, so do leaches, black holes, and vacuum cleaners, but none of them are mean. The sum of a non-empty set of numbers divided by the size of the set yields the mean of said numbers. If you run a yield sign, will the judge sentence you only after his docket is clear? Waht mkaes it poslibse to eislay raed tihs snnetece, eevn tuohgh all the wrdos are jmulbed? Jumble is more fun than crossword, but neither are as much fun as Sudoku...strange, since they all have empty spaces. I went to a Pink Floyd concert once, but they didn't break a TV set. I'm set to get the hell out of Iraq on the day after Christmas.

The End

<roll credits>

Goodbye OIF, hello OND

Less than 11 hours ago, the war ended, and I'm now sitting in my office doing my homework. Yes, I said, "homework."

You see, in a little over four hours from now, I'm going to attend the United States Forces-Iraq (USF-I) change of command ceremony at Al Faw Palace, whereby USF-I Commanding General, General Ray Odierno, relinquishes his command to Lieutenant General Lloyd Austin. LTG Austin will be promoted to General at the same time. Presiding over the ceremony will be Vice President Joe Biden. OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM will have ended 15 hours earlier, and OPERATION NEW DAWN will be over half way into its first day. And in the audience will be Yours Truly. The price of my admission? One five-minute interview with the print media to offer an Air Force perspective. That's right, I have prostituted my mind so I can get a better seat.

So, I'm doing my homework.

I have no idea what questions they'll ask, but it doesn't really matter. I'm a learned man, and I appreciate the historic significance of what is happening here. The current circumstance isn't that dissimilar from our own country's humble beginnings: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness hang in the balance. Truth be told, I'm honored to be a part of the proceedings, which includes the potential side benefit that I'll be quoted in the press. My 5 minutes of fame!

I guess I better hit the books.

SHD

Today isn't going as planned.

Normally, the leadership in my office is not afforded the luxury of a 4-day pass. However, I was able to convince my boss to let me have 1 day off for each of the next 4 months. Today is the first of those 4 days. It's also Friday...the 13th.

The day started with me being sleepy. I was at work until 22:30 last night, so I didn't get to bed at a decent hour, and I woke up tired. My lethargy was exacerbated by the fact that I promised to participate in PT this morning at 0630. I should have known better: Last night, Julie told me to call her today and tell her how I had injured myself during PT. I assured her nothing would happen, but...

We had just run the right-side option to great effect. I was the tailback, and the toss was perfect. Turn on the juice, first down! OK, success. Run it again. [Actually, the call was "Run it again, but the other way this time." I wish I had heard everything after the comma.] I lined up directly to the left of the quarterback. He was (I thought) going to take the snap, then run up the right side. I would tail behind him, just like before, and take the toss if needed. Well, that's not what happened. He got the snap and ran straight at me. I, clueless, ran straight at him. There was only about 6 feet between us when we started, so there was no time for reaction. I just slammed into him. Unfortunately, my left hand got jammed into his chest. The pain was intense and I was sure I had broken my wrist...maybe I did. Even now--two hours and two Aleve later--my hand is swollen and throbbing.

Alright, nice story, but so what? As I said, today is my day off. Much of what I had planned (besides a nap!) involved riding my bike to get where I wanted to go: BX, magic show, chow, whatever. As it is now, I can't even change my shirt without wincing, much less ride a bike. I seriously considered going to work, just because I didn't want to waste the day without the ability to go anywhere. Then I considered the absurdity of that thought, and decided to follow through with the plan.

Meanwhile, back at the football field...

I leave PT early, go back to the CHU to get my toiletry kit so I can get a shower before the DFAC closes for breakfast. I can barely get my clothes off, and when I get to the shower, it's like a sauna in there: both air conditioning units are broken. When I leave, I notice it's actually cooler outside (where it's already near 100 degrees at 0800). I change into fresh PT gear--no uniform required on my day off--and head to the DFAC.

I thought I'd have trouble with my tray, but I can close my fingers enough to hold the tray steady while supporting it with my right hand. Once I have everything, I see my crew already seated, so I go over to join them. Oh, look, the table is full. Guess I'll sit by myself. (Should I have expected different?)

Now, finally, I'm clean and fed, and I'm back at my CHU. Then, right about the time I was typing "Meanwhile, back at the football field...", the power went out. So now I have the day off, my wrist is killing me, and my CHU is about to become a hot box, with no TV, no internet, not even light by which to read.

Shithelldamn.

Rut chair

Naturally, I miss my wife, my son, and being home near family and friends. But there are many trivial things that I miss.

I miss silverware. We inmates have plasticware in the DFAC. So, if the meat is a little tough, good luck with that flimsy knife. Better to just pick it up with your fingers and gnaw on it because the slightest bit of pressure on the plastic knife will cause it to shatter in your hands.

I miss zippers. More to the point, I miss britches that zip. I would love to spend a day in my Levi 560 blue jeans. No blousing the cuffs, no annoying buttons. Just comfort.

I miss green. No, not Army green (of which there is also a dearth here), but bright, springtime, fresh, cool green. The lush color of grass, and of new leaves on trees.

I miss my truck. We have a few vehicles we can check out an drive as required, but I don't have my own, dedicated vehicle. Not that I need it, really. I just bought a bike, and that's been liberating. But my truck is my truck.

Of the seemingly inconsequential things, the one I really think of the most is my rut chair. For those who may not be familiar with the term "rut chair", it's borne of the fact that I get in a rut sitting in it so much. There's a good reason, though: it's damn comfortable! Way better than the straight chair I have in my CHU. As I sat in that cold, hard, steel, Baptist-church-reception-hall folding chair tonight, I had a vivid recollection of the anticipation that always occurred when my ass was about to land in the soft, foam-filled seat of my rut chair.

I guess the big take-away in all this is not to take anything (or, for that matter, anyone) for granted. I wonder if there's anything I'll miss from here. Gimme a sec...let me think. Uh, no.

----
BTW, I've been listening to Satriani to night as I'm writing. He's arguably the best guitarist on the planet. If you don't have Surfing with the Alien and/or Flying in a Blue Dream in your music collection, you're leading a deprived life.

Don't drive angry

Have you seen Groundhog Day? Baghdad, Iraq is nothing like Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, although there is a large rodent running around here, but I don't think his name is Phil. Next time I see him, I'll ask, but he looks like he might be named Benito.  "Baghdad Benito."  Yeah, that works.

OK, none of that was true. I guess I'm getting a bit loopy from lack of sleep. Those who know me well know I can't just transition from some cognitive activity and go straight to bed. I have to unwind. Watch a little TV, check email, whatever. That's all well and good, but by the time I get back to the CHU, it is often close to 22:00, sometimes later. So, after I unwind, it can be near midnight, and 06:00 comes early (I Got You, Babe!). Tomorrow--Sunday--I'll be able to sleep in...'til 07:30.  Woo hoo! (It's good to woo hoo every once in a while...opens up the pores and forestalls baldness, they say.)

I called my brother today. Nice chat. He was inquiring about all the usual stuff: my job, my accommodations, the heat, entertainment (ha!), etc. While I just see my circumstances here as only mildly inconvenient especially as compared to those warriors in much more austere conditions, it was interesting to hear his reaction to what I was saying. By the way, it's apparently been really hot in Atlanta.

One of the guys in my office is redeploying, and he's selling his bike to me. Glad to have some wheels for a change. The bus is a workable transportation option, but I look forward to the flexibility of coming and going whenever I'm ready, not when the "White Line" timetable dictates.

If there's anything I've learned by being deployed is that I can actually survive without a daily dose of political discourse as presented by the American media. Yes, we have AFN, but, the shows I like aren't on when I'm in my CHU. In the DFAC, they have a bunch of flat screen TVs, and they display closed captioning, but it's difficult to eat while watching the words scroll by. Look away for just a second and you miss a lot. So I've learned to adapt. I think I've finally overcome my withdrawal symptoms, although Keith Olbermann is still a pompous ass. And Wolf Blitzer, well he just sucks.

As Phil Connors told Ned Ryerson, "I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to."

Good night.

Lohan who?

A friend of mine wrote the following on her Facebook page yesterday:

Lohan who? I can't believe the news coverage being given to a spoiled 20-something year old. Here are a few 20 year-olds worth knowing about: Justin Allen 23, Brett Linley 29, Matt Weikert 29, Justus Bartett 27, Dave Santos 21, Chase Stanley 21, Jesse Reed 26, Matthew King 23, Christopher Goeke 23, & Sheldon Tate 27. These 20-somethings gave their lives for you this week.

Her post really struck me. Like a lit match in a dark room, it stood in stark contrast to anything else people are talking about. It's tragic, of course, that anyone dies at such a young age, even for a noble cause. But it's a worse travesty that fewer and fewer people take notice. After all, the sacrifice of these "20-somethings" helped preserve the liberties, rights, and freedoms we possess.

--

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the kind words of support folks have sent my way, and the many thank-yous I've heard. For the most part, Julie, Ken and I are doing fine. But for some families, deployment is quite a hardship, especially for those who serve on the homefront. So, if you ever have an opportunity, find a deployed Soldier's (or Sailor's or Airman's or Marine's) wife, husband, son, daughter, mom, or dad, and ask what they need. Usually, the answer is "nothing", but there's always some small way to help them endure the absence of their loved one. Pay special attention to those young wives and new moms who quickly become overwhelmed when there's no one to help share the load. Cut their grass, shovel their snow, babysit their kids. In this way, you'll be serving your country every bit as honorably as those of us here in the sandbox. It turns out service members like to say "thank you" too!

Abi out.

Half day, full moon

It's Sunday, which gives me some respite from the daily grind of financing the war. It's not so bad here, you know. There are many service men and women in worse circumstances than I find myself. One of the best newspapers I've ever read is the daily Stars and Stripes, which we get for free here. For good or ill, they tell it like it is when it comes to the stark reality of war. Almost daily, I read with sadness about the brave folks who pay the ultimate price as they fight for something bigger than themselves. Just looking at the numbers, those in Afghanistan have it the worst, but Thursday, S&S reported on a mortar attack which killed 3 folks and injured 15 (2 Americans) at the Embassy in the IZ (downtown Baghdad). I bring all this up not to cause consternation for my family and friends, but to give context when I say I think this is one of the best jobs I've had in my military career.

If you don't know, I was a willing (eager?) volunteer to deploy. I've always felt that my role as a mission support officer was missing a key element: a more direct contribution to the fight. Granted, the job I'm doing now is a staff job, and by all rights, could be done stateside. (Think of USF-I as a mini-Pentagon in Iraq.) However, just being here gives a perspective that simply isn't possible to gain if you've never been here. There's a greater 'sense of urgency' as we say, and it makes the time I'm away from home not insufferable. Add to that fact, I'm more comfortable now in my ongoing role of imitating a finance officer. So, all in all, not so bad.

--
I've cleaned my room of the week's accumulation of dust. It's probably preferable to the mud that will come with the rainy season. Maybe I'll escape most of that. With everything spic and span, I'm just taking it easy, catching up on email and Facebook, and, of course, posting to Abi. There's not much to do here, as you might expect (though I say that from the perspective that, given my schedule, I have little time to do anything). But it's nice to have a few hours today to clear my mind before a new week begins. There was a full moon last night, the second I've seen since I've been here. So, add that to the list of my time-marking activities: counting full moons. Just five more to go...

Two hats

So, there I was...

(Where the hell were you?)

... sitting with two of my coworkers in the DFAC last night, choking down whatever gruel they had served up, when a soldier walks up to our table, reaches under the table cloth (really plastic) at the end of the table just to my left, and pulls out his hat. He said he had forgotten it, and--apparently noticing the quizzical looks on our faces--commented that it's where he keeps his hat while he's dining (his secret stash, as he called it). We all muttered a cacophony of huh's and hmm's and oh-I-see's, thinking it was kinda weird, but whatever worked for him was fine with us. Besides, we'd all seen stranger things around here. Who were we kidding? Most things around here are strange.

The soldier left, and we went back to our meals.

The conversation had finally regained its previous flow, and about 10 minutes had passed when another soldier--apparently completely unknown to the first--reaches under the table plastic at the other end of the table, and pulls out his hat. After we stopped laughing at this bizarre repeat performance, we all paused, seemingly on cue, and pondered the possibility that we'd just been punked. Hat 1 was weird, but Hat 2 had to be a setup. I began looking for Allen Funt.

Now pause for a moment and consider where those hats were: beneath a covering on a table that has seen years and years of food spillage, together with all the dust and dirt that pervades this place. Maybe it's just me, but you'd think the Army would have dedicated a few precious moments during basic training to explain to these fine, young Grunts the storage opportunities afforded by the innumerable pockets scattered all over their uniforms.

Then again, maybe I'm just talking out of my hat.

Long day

I spent a lot of time running around today. I had PT this morning...again, the heat was oppressive, even by 06:30. Quick shower, then to chow, then to the CHU to pick up dirty laundry, then to the laundry to drop off and pickup. Oops, not enough time to drop off clean laundry then get to the bus on time; guess I'll carry my laundry to work with me. Lots of hot potato(e)s at work. Have a VTC at the palace at 13:00. Guess I'll wait until after to get lunch. The VTC runs long due to technical difficulties. Have to walk (in the heat) to chow, then back to work. Catch a ride back to the palace for another meeting (brief to a general). Walk (in the heat) to nearest bus stop to get back to work. Plan to leave a little early tonight, but no...the boss calls everyone to dinner...can't leave from dinner, so come back to work for an hour or so. Upload a pantload (thanks E*TRADE baby) of pictures to Facebook (see links below)...chat with son...talk to wife...post to Abi...

I'm done! Enjoy the pics.

Odds and Ends:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17701&id=100000403285313&l=4fa18c325b

Al Faw Palace:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17700&id=100000403285313&l=60c83326b1

Picnic in 120-degree heat:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17699&id=100000403285313&l=c93e4bb87c

View from a bus:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17698&id=100000403285313&l=758e9cac50

Deployment to Iraq: Hails and Farewells:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17695&id=100000403285313&l=cdc42277ba

A flame about 3 feet high

Have I mentioned it's hot here? How about a few heat anecdotes?

1. The Boss (Army colonel) was driving us to the Palace for a meeting with the DCoS (Army one-star) in his SUV. There's really no reason to turn on the a/c because the "cool" air becomes hot again by the time it reaches the cabin. So, we ride with the windows down, which just keeps the car from being a greenhouse, but it doesn't make you cooler. Today was particularly windy, too (there were whitecaps on the pond). As we turned into the parking lot, the left side of the car was into the wind, so through the open window came a blast of superheated air, coupled with a heavy dose of the omnipresent dust that pervades this God-forsaken shithole. I turned to the Boss, and in fine Army fashion declared, "This does not suck enough!" Pleased with my apparent knowledge of grunt mores, he replied, "It could definitely suck more!" The meeting went off without a hitch.

2. Although it's oppressively hot now, word is that August is worse. Highs some days between 130 and 140. It dawned onto me that, after August, it will then cool down to what it's like right now. Joy.

3. Have I mentioned the "Little Brown CHU"? If not, check out this photo on my Facebook account. Aaaaand we're back. The Little Brown CHU outside our office is on the south side of the building, which means the sun cooks it...all...day...long. [Warning: If you don't want the mental image I'm about to put in your brain, stop reading now.] Normally, I'm a morning kind of guy, but when duty calls (yes, I said duty), a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do (I meant that, two..er..too!). Mind you, ass-uming the position is a bit of a production, what with having to doff the M-9 holster and uniform blouse with less room than is afforded in a phone booth. Then I sit (no typo, s-i-t). As it turns out, "a 120-degree plastic toilet seat" is a much better answer to that childhood riddle^** than is the title of this post.

Have I mentioned it's hot here?


^** "You know what burns my ass?"

What the hell does Abi do all day, anyway?

As promised, here's my stab at explaining how the US Government gets consideration for its semi-monthly deposit into my checking account.

There's no typical day in terms of what I do at work, but my schedule has trended toward predictable, so I'll start with that:

• 06:10 - Alarm goes off
• 06:20 - $#!+, shower, and shave
• 06:45 - Back at the CHU, get dressed, catch up on FB and email
• 07:15 - Head to the DFAC for breakfast (2 English muffins with strawberry jam, a bowl of fruit, two orange juice boxes)
• 08:03 - Catch the bus to work
• 08:15 - At work
• 12:12 - Catch bus to get lunch (I always include a salad)
• 13:03 - Catch bus to return to work
• 13:15 - At work
• 19:42 - Catch bus to get supper (see previous post to this blog)
• 20:30 - Either go back to work or go to CHU, depending on what needs to be done
• 11:30 (at the latest) - lights out

Wash, rinse, repeat. I do get a 1/2 day off every Sunday morning. Kind of a mini deployment vacation!

Now, while I'm at work:

My job title is "Chief, Requirements Validation Division". I work on the United States Forces in Iraq (USF-I) joint staff. In particular, I work for the J8 (Comptroller). My job requires that I oversee a repeating 3-week process. Each week, a new iteration begins on Sunday. So, at any given time, I'm tracking issues for three iterations of the process. "So, what is this process of which you speak?" Well, I'm glad you asked!

Units at bases throughout Iraq have need of various services (security, base life support, aircraft maintenance, etc.). These services cost money, of course, and the J8 is the keeper of the dough. My job is to vet these "requirements" to ensure they are in keeping with the USF-I commander's strategy, policy, and objectives. I help the units get what they truly need, but I guard the resource (the money) by advising the commander's deputy chief of staff (DCoS)--the approval authority--on what is truly a "requirement" versus what is just a "desirement". I won't bore you with the nuts and bolts of the process, but all this takes about 3 weeks from the time I get the requirement until the DCoS makes his final decision.

The complicating factor right now is that units have, for so long, been in a pseudo-steady-state posture, and it was fairly easy to demonstrate why certain requirements were necessary to complete the mission. Now, however, USF-I has a target date of 31 Dec 2011 to be out of Iraq. In order to do this, we need to reduce the number of people (both US forces and support contractors) over the next 18 months. The rate of that reduction is critical, and tied closely to base closures and eliminating need for certain services. Forgive the analogy, but now, as the swamp drains, the alligators are fighting over the shrinking pools. Eventually, all the alligators will be gone, but I'm sort of an alligator therapist who helps the critters cope with the loss of habitat.

So there it is...clear as mud. I'm happy to entertain questions. Just post a comment and I'll elucidate.

Time to go to work (see above for details).

Nothing in particular

Yeah, I got nothing. No witticism, no narrative, no theme. Unless 'no theme' is itself a theme. Whatever. Tonight, I figured I'd just document some of the many random thoughts that go through my head each day.

There are two items I brought with me that I'm extremely thankful I did: My sandals and my Inova keychain LED flashlight. The sandals save me from wearing either my running shoes or my flip-flops to the shower. The flashlight hangs on my dogtag chain, which is why I like it so much. Useful for getting to the bus stop without tripping when I leave work after dusk.

Speaking of work, it turns out the long hours are easier to tolerate when there's no one to come home to at night.

I used to count my steps between my CHU and the latrine, but stopped doing it after a while. I guess I'm not so Monk-ish after all.

I usually enjoy group sports for PT, but the two times I've had PT since I've been here, I've dehydrated to the point of getting a headache which lasted most of the day. I drink a lot of water, but I don't really have anywhere to store it. Such is my lot.

I find that I'm pestered by a low-level anxiety over when the rainy season might start. The dust is bad enough, but I really don't want to deal with keeping my CHU free of mud. OK, maybe I am that Monk-ish.

Morale calls are limited to 15 minutes. There is no warning when your time is about to run out.

My desk at work is not very big, so I rearranged the computers and phones so I'd have more room to make a mess. It worked. The mess is bigger.

I mark time in several ways:
- Every 18 days is 10% of my time here.
- Each week I honcho a briefing for the Deputy Chief of Staff. Each week, I use a new folder to keep my slides. I number the folders sequentially starting with my first one two weeks ago, so when I get to 26, I'm going home.
- I'm on a daily regimen of Oracea, and I brought 180 pills. When the bottle's empty...
- My birthday will be my halfway point.

Ironically, despite the previous list, things really aren't so dreadful, once I get past the fact that I'm away from home. I'm constantly amazed that I'm here, making decisions and recommendations that directly affect warfighters. But not just that, I'm here at a time when we're heavily focused on drawing down so we can turn everything back over to the Iraqis and get our troops back home. So, I'm here during the formative period as Iraq tries democracy for a change. Kewl.

OK, enough brain vomit. Gonna go check in with CinC House. Abi out.

Well, it damn sure isn't Subway!

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what I'm doing that an hour can go by and I don't even notice. That's what happened to me tonight: I lost track of time at work and missed supper. There are multiple factors which led to my tactical error: (a) the DFAC (dining facility/chow hall) closes at 20:30; (b) the bus only runs twice an hour; and (c) I was busy. Usually, I leave in time to catch the 18:12 bus, then return at 19:12. The latest I can catch the bus is 20:12 and still get a hot meal (drop off is at 20:20). Maybe I should set the alarm on my watch.

Don't get me wrong, I got food...if you call a sandwich on stale wheat bread, crisps, and a box of orange juice 'food'. At least it gave me some calories. My biggest disappointment isn't that I lost out on getting a hot meal. Rather, I regret I didn't get the chance to partake of my new favorite nightly indulgence. No, not rich, chocolaty Ovaltine and animal crackers. Nay, nay. Say hello to my new fav: a giant scoop of Baskin Robbins vanilla ice cream topped with an excessive helping of blueberry and whipped cream layer cake. Ooohhh, yeah!

But what, you may ask, was I doing that would keep me away from my evening rendezvous with such a scrumptious delight? Well, I think I'll save such a mundane topic for a later update to AGTI (working title, "What the hell does Abi do all day, anyway?"). Instead, tonight I'd rather just pine for my Sweet.

Rules

Here in Baghdad, we have a bunch of rules that don't exist back home. For example, we're required to carry our weapon at all times. We must wear a reflective belt if outside between the hours of dusk and dawn. Military personnel may never wear civilian clothes. No one of the opposite sex may be in your room (even if you're married to someone else who's here). Of course there are more rules, but that's not the point. Yes, there's an additional rule set here, but let's not forget the 'old' one still applies...

Today, an officer on the joint staff was given an early re-deployment date. I don't know the exact details (though I wouldn't share them if I did), but suffice to say, it was not for neglecting to wear a reflective belt at night. The irony for me is two-fold. First, I was impressed with this person from the start. Sharp, confident, intelligent. By all outward appearances, the kind of person from whom you believe you can expect the best. Second, only yesterday I was talking with the Deputy J8 about how people get here and feel free to do as they please. Most of the willful infractions are minor (improper uniform wear, failing to salute, etc.). But some are not so inconsequential. I don't envy this young officer, who'll arrive back home only to face a barrage of questions by coworkers, friends, and family. Perhaps the most difficult question to answer will be, simply, "Why?"

What a shame.

How many candles did you say?

For those Google Maps junkies out there, I thought I'd give you some perspective on my geographical situation. Click on the links to see (a) where I live, (b) where I eat, and (c) where I work. The satellite photos are very old. There are lots more buildings now, and the living quarters (CHUs) are not shown, but instead some sort of tents, I think.

Enough of that.

I'm watching Paraguay vs. Spain in the World Cup quarterfinals as I surf the web. Nil-nil at halftime. I just got off the "phone" with my Mom, then later, Julie. I'm thinking it's a titty bit nippley in here, so I'll turn up the temp on the A/C. And since tomorrow is Sunday, I guess I'll sleep in a little. Gee, it hardly sounds like I'm deployed, does it?

Tomorrow marks the 234th birthday of your country and mine. So here's the thing: I'm doing a staff job; it's not like I'm going toe-to-toe with the enemy. Now, it's true I'm receiving Hostile Fire Pay, Imminent Danger Pay, and Hazardous Duty Pay, but there are warriors outside the wire that are earning those same special pays. So tomorrow, while you're enjoying your beer and hot dogs, don't forget those guys at the pointy end of the spear. Take a moment to gather everyone together and spend a few minutes talking about what a great country we live in, and how fortunate we are to have young men and women willing to pay--or to actually pay--the ultimate price to provide the freedoms we all enjoy.

Abi out.

Getting the hang of it

It's not such a bad thing, being deployed, that is. After all, a job is a job. As I've said before, it's the ancillary stuff that makes it less than desirable: no hearth and home, dealing with the heat (and the mud, or so I hear), and so on. People come and go so quickly here. Office turnover is an ongoing thing. Just today we had hails and farewells, and we had about 6 of each, all within my short time here.

Of course, I was one of the hails, and my predecessor was one of the farewells. I'll be flying solo in a day or two. I don't know what I don't know, but I'm surrounded by a good crew in my division, so I'm not worried. Most in my division are here for a year, and most have been here for less than 6 months, which helps with continuity. And my peace of mind.

I did a sort of "day in the life" series of photos yesterday. You can see them at this link. They have lots of explanatory notes, and I hope it gives a sense of what it's like here. I don't cover everything that I see...I'll dole that out a little at a time.

Last night, I didn't update the blog because I spent all evening cleaning my CHU. I went to the BX/PX and bought a bunch of cleaning supplies, then went to town on the room. They finally fixed my wall locker, so I put all my clothes away, then scrubbed from ceiling to floor. Now, all I have to do is periodically swiffer and dust, and it should be livable without much effort. Maybe a mid-tour "spring cleaning" will be all I need to do extra. In any case, it's way better than how it was when I moved in.

I have Ric's bike now, so I'll have to get a helmet. Maybe Julie will send me mine. Or I could see if the BX has any. I'll still be tied to the bus schedule until I fix that problem.

Our office leadership (of which I'm a part) went out to get pizza tonight as a going-away dinner for Ric. A good time was had by all, and we were all happy to do our part to alleviate overcrowding in the DFAC (dining facility). I had a slice of pepperoni and a half dozen hot wings. Mmmm.

It's late-thirty. Gotta get up in a few hours. More soon.

Abi out.

J

I have a leftover bottle from a medicated shampoo which I now use for my baby shampoo. It's a 4-ounce bottle and more convenient to carry to the shower than the vat-o-shampoo I brought with me. In order to distinguish the baby shampoo from the medicated, I took a Sharpie and wrote 'J' on it (for Johnson's and Johnson's). Ordinarily, this would just be an innocuous thing, but not for me. I hadn't intended anything when I wrote that one letter, but I'm glad i did. See whenever I send my bride a card, email, or not, I don't address her as 'Julie'; instead, I simply put 'J'. So now, every morning as I collect my toiletries and walk the 87 steps to the shower, I'm reminded of home and the beautiful woman I married, the mother of my child, and future owner of a lake house.

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I didn't take as many picture this week as I thought I would, but click here to see the ones I did take.

Hand me the toothpicks

My mother hates that I like to chew on toothpicks. However, today would have been a good day to have an ample supply of them. My office hosted a conference today. Folks from all around the region came in to hear our spiel. The info was good, but after a full day of "Death by PowerPoint" and a high-carb lunch, my eyes were getting heavy. A couple of toothpicks might have allowed me to prop my eyelids up, but instead I had to stand up at the back of the room just to keep from going into a coma.

We held the conference in Al Faw Palace. I'm new here, so to me it was really cool. Seriously, it was cool. As in not warm. Desert or no, you could hang meat in there. On breaks, I'd go outside and do my best reptile imitation and soak up some heat from the sun. (Did you know there were some monster-sized carp in the pond next to Al Faw Palace? Don't fall in!)

After the day was done, we had a catered dinner on the veranda of one of the bungalows along the pond. We had a 6-man band of Army Soldiers playing guitars and singing songs during dinner (Jimmy Buffet, The Eagles, Johnny Cash...lots of familiar "sing-a-longs"). Afterward, I found out that they were all also deployed, and that their job was to entertain the troops throughout the AOR.  What a gig!

Anyway, the day was a nice respite before I begin my duties in earnest tomorrow. Time to take the reins from Ric. We'll see how it goes.

Settling in

Today was much cooler than normal. If it got above 90 degrees, I'd be surprised. We've had dust storms for a couple of days, so that's absorbed much of the radiant heat.  I stayed indoors almost all of the daylight hours, though, so I could have missed a warm spike.

This morning, I got a pass to sleep in to recover from my jet lag. Boy did I need it. I went to bed at some time after 22:00, and I didn't get up for good until 09:45 (though I did have to wake up for my usual 03:30 dash to the urinal). I missed breakfast, so I took a shower and planned to get lunch at 11:00, only to find out the DFAC (dining facility) doesn't open for lunch until 11:30. So I got a "grab-n-go" sandwich and caught the shuttle bus to the office.

I found out today that we have 7-day work weeks. At first, I was irritated by the prospect of never having a day off for 6 months. Then I contemplated what I would do with free time over here, and decided 'not much'. I also noticed that--since it is very much like any office job I've had in my career--it doesn't feel like I'm deployed when I'm at work, so the 7-day thing seems fine to me now.

We had a late day at work because we're hosting a conference tomorrow, and that's interrupting the usual work on Friday, so we stayed late to cover that base. Dinner @ 20:00, now I'm settling in for the night. Between dinner and now, I re-arranged my furniture to my liking. However, the two wall closets are made of that cheap press board with a veneer finish, and they are both falling apart. Therefore, I can't put my stuff in them until I get the billeting office to repair or replace them. And since it's not a critical request, that could be days. So, I'll be living out of my duffel bag for a while. At least the floor plan suits me, and my Monk-ish nature is somewhat mollified.

Time to check in with Julie, then get some shut-eye.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Man, with a title like that, you'd probably expect me to evoke some Biblical imagery that draws a parallel between the circumstance I find myself in and the End Time. While perhaps an apt allegory may be appropriate, I chose the title merely because I attended a concert here by a band of that name. You may be disappointed, but no more so than I was upon hearing the "music" proffered. I doubt I can describe it accurately, but think of a two-year-old pitching a screaming fit and you'd be close.
Today was my first full day on the job. I suppose this whole deployment thing is doable. In fact, although I learned we work 7 days a week, I think that may be more of a blessing than a curse. I mean, what else is there to do around here? If I had a whole day to ponder how long I had left, it might actually be more of a detriment.

I had one especially interesting highlight today: I found out my buddy and former co-worker (from my time at Randolph AFB) is deployed here in an adjacent camp around BIAP. It was good to talk to an old friend.

As promised in my previous post, here's a link to some pics from Facebook. These are just the rest of the pics from my transit into country. I'll take and post pics in the next few days. Out here.

Here

As I woke up this morning (actually, one of the several times I woke up this morning), I reflected back on just how much effort has gone into getting me here. Where's here? Wow, that's a loaded question. 'Here' is a disheveled CHU (containerized housing unit) at Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq. 'Here' is a God-forsaken desert that never lets you forget that fact. 'Here' is day one of a new experience for which I'm both excited and a little apprehensive. 'Here' is the twilight of my Air Force career as I hope the sum of my experiences will add up to a positive contribution to the fight.  'Here' is thousands of miles from everyone and everything I know and love.

The transit to here has been both quick and easy, and long and arduous. In concrete terms, the actual transit from San Antonio to Baghdad went extremely smoothly. We left SAT late on 18 Jun, and by noon on 22 Jun, I was standing on the runway at Baghdad International Airport (BIAP) breathing in the hot, dusty air of Iraq. Those 3.5 days are a blur, caused mostly by sleep deprivation, but everything seemed to line up just right, and I got here just about as quickly as is possible. On the other hand, I was tasked for this deployment on 14 April (which is a little bit short notice) and a ton of work went into getting me ready to ship out, as my previous posts to this blog will attest.

In more abstract terms, it took me over a quarter century to find myself situated to take this bullet (a poor choice of words?). I've wanted to deploy...to support the warfighter in a more direct way than my career has afforded me so far...for perhaps a decade now. From my brief observation yesterday, I expect the day-to-day nature of my job will be not dissimilar from any stateside staff job. Yet, at it's core, it is imminently different, and that sole fact is what compels me.

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I finally slept last night. At Al Udeid, I slept a total of 1.5 hours, so by the time I went to sleep last night, that 1.5 hours was all I had in over 43 hours. Really, if you include the sparse sleep I got on the Norfolk-Leipzig-Doha flight, I probably got no more than 8 hour sleep since I woke up in Norfolk on the 18th. Now, showered and rested, I'm ready to take on my first full day on the job.

So, here I go!

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P.S. I'm now inclined to post most of my photos via Facebook. I'm bandwidth limited on my internet here, so FB will help me conserve some of that. Also, it's easier to upload there. What I will do, though, is post on this blog the public link to pictures for non-FB users to access them. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Hell's annex

I'm guessing that Hell is full. It must be, because what other need could there be for this much heat in another place if not to torture the poor souls who find themselves in it? The only potable water here is in plastic bottles, available just about everywhere on base to keep people from passing out. I've only been here 9 hours and I've already had over a half gallon. But, I digress. You (no doubt) would rather hear about my experiences this past day, so allow me to oblige.

We last left our hero as he sat at the Navy Air Terminal in Norfolk, so let's pick up from there. The plane boarded and departed on time at o'dark thirty. We were on a North American Airlines 767, and only about 90 passengers. That meant we each had a row of 2 or 3 seats to ourselves. I chose a middle seat up front, so I had lots of room to stretch out.

We had a short layover in Leipzig Germany to change aircrew and flight crew. I spent 4 Euros to pay for wifi to call home on Skype. Then we loaded back on the plane and off we went again. We landed just 45 minutes after midnight in Qatar. Had we landed before midnight, I would have gotten credit for one more day in the AOR, which might have helped get me home before Christmas. I still might, but at this point, it's too early to start thinking about coming home.

Once we landed, we immediately started processing into the AOR. We got our chem gear, and got a bunch of video briefings. They grouped us by final downrange destination, and selected the highest ranking person in each group to be the Troop Commander (TC). For my group, I ended up being the TC for 14 others, which means I'm responsible for ensuring they all get the info they need, and get on the plane when they're supposed to. (I'm not seeing the upside to being the TC.) After that, we checked in at billeting, got our linens and went to the tent (yes, another tent). This time, we had 32 bunk beds. Since we are transient (not stationed here, or TDY here), we don't rate getting separate rooms. I felt like I was in a hostel.

By the time we got through all processing, it was nearly 0530, so I found a wifi spot (at The Bra) and called Julie. I eventually got over to the chow hall and found a good number of our crew already there. Pretty good spread, I must say. I recommend the omelets.

Now, I'm just hanging out in the learning center (read: library) wondering what in the Hell I'm going to do to bide my time. I'm trying to adjust my internal clock, but I'm not sure I can stay awake all the way until 8 p.m. when I find out if we're leaving tomorrow. I think I might get some rack time before dinner, then see what happens from there.

Sorry, no pics...the connection's too slow. I'll post some when I can...if my camera doesn't melt first.

Relaxing in Norfolk

I slept in this morning until 0930. Haven't done that in a while. I enjoyed having absolutely nowhere to go and nothing to do, at least for one day...but it would get old quickly.

All I really did was eat brunch around 1030, lunch at 1400, then supper around 1800. In between, I spent a lot of time watching TV, Facebooking, and catching up on this blog. BTW, for supper, two of my travel partners and I (R-B and Will) ate at Hooters. When we mentioned we were headed to Iraq, our waitress got all the girls to sign the latest issue of the Hooters magazine, plus we got a free dessert.

Now, I'm sitting in the Navy/AMC Air Terminal waiting on our flight out. Not much else to tell. Here are some pics from the day...

Now, off to foreign lands and faraway places. Later.